Of Pickles and Presidents
by fluffy pantoufle
Summary: The musings of Selphie Tilmitt, set during the morning after an impromptu romp with everyone's favorite Estharian president. Who says that Irvine's the only one who can slip up? Although, it's only considered a slip up if you feel BAD afterwards...
1. Selphie

Of Pickles and Presidents

By: fluffy pantoufle

* * *

I've been a bad, bad girl.

I never meant to do it, and I'm still kinda figuring out how to smooth over the edges of a rough situation. But the Winter Festival was _so _much fun, and there was _so _much wine, and he was just… Oh, I can't even begin to _describe _it! Think about the last Garden Festival you've been to, and then multiply it by a BILLION. Balamb Garden hasn't seen a party like that since, since…well, since the one I organized when we whooped Sorceress Ultimecia's butt!

Too bad I can't take the credit for this one, tee hee! I'm still in charge of the regular Garden Festival, but all the winter activities were given to Matron. She spends a lot of time here with Headmaster Cid, which makes sense - I wouldn't wanna spend my time in the orphanage if my husband was in Balamb, not to mention her kids! I've been giving her pointers here and there, but Matron certainly can throw an awesome party all on her own!

Irvy's been away for the past week on a mission with Zell. If he went with anyone else I'd be worried, but Zell is a wonderful guy that'll keep my cowboy in line if he ever got, well…_out _of line. I don't worry about it too much though, you know? I've been dating Irvy for over two years now, and he's pretty much proved himself to be true blue!

It sorta makes me feel a little worse, though. Two years of kisses and snuggling and train rides, and here I am…with the Estharian president curled up in my rubber ducky bed sheets. I can't even _look _at him right now because I'm afraid I'll just start squealing, and then Quisty'll come stomping in, and then we'll _both _be in a huge heap of trouble…

Plus, I don't think my little body was meant to handle so much wine. Eesh. My head feels awful, but I gave my aspirin to Xu and the _last _person I wanna explain my mess to is her.

Oh, Sir Laguna's such a nice man. He doesn't look his age, and after splitting a bottle of Galbadian chardonnay with yours truly he doesn't _act _it either! I can't help but wonder if Squall's gonna age so gracefully. Maybe, if he manages to cut out some of the stress! I doubt that it'll happen though - stress and being Commander of a Garden go together, just like Mrs. Moogle cake and warm milk. Rinoa tries to make him laugh, but even after two years it's still pretty hard to do. Even I manage to get him to smile only like…twice a day! That's not impressive, especially since I'm good at cheering almost _anyone _up - even Fujin!

Sir Laguna only has those cute little wrinkles that show up after a lifetime's worth of smiles, and how can you try to get rid of those? Smiling wrinkles are like a badge of honor!

He even smiles in his sleep! Ah, I took a little peek - I can't help it! Cue the squealing.

No, no…maybe if I bite my lip really, _really _hard…

Three…two…

Okay. I think I've suppressed all the "tee-hee"-ing until later. I'll just have to stare at myself in the mirror and try not to look at the fact that I can see his arms and chest and - _oh! _

I really _have _been a bad girl. Sir Laguna's going to have to wear a turtleneck for the next couple of days. Gee, I hope that he doesn't have to meet any super-duper important world leaders… I wonder what the Galbadian president's stance is on hickeys. Yikes.

This is probably gonna sound ridiculous, but…do you know what it feels like when you have a dream come true? I mean, most people never dreamed of hooking up with the president of Esthar, so maybe this is kind of an unfair question. It feels like getting fifty years' worth of birthday gifts, and a sugar high, and maybe like the after-effects of that wine I drank last night…

It's the most _wonderful _feeling in all the world. There's an entire meadow's worth of butterflies in my tummy, and I think that they'll spill out my mouth if I try to wake him up or even _breathe. _

And all I can keep thinking about - all I can remember, really - is how it felt to kiss him. Oh, sweet samba-dancing chicobos! It was so much different than being with Irvy, y'know? Sir Laguna's had so many more years to get it right, I think, and whatever he did paid off!

Tee-hee!

Oh, man! Couldn't help that one.

So, what do you _do _when you realize that you finally had one of your deepest, most secretive big girl wishes come true? Not only that, but I feel like I should be upset about this and I'm _not…_and it's scary. I should be mad at myself, right? I should want to slap myself in the face until I re-enter the real world, but all I wanna do is, uh…congratulate myself. Like I just ran the Deling City Marathon or something.

I think that this is gonna be a pickle. Not just any pickle, either - maybe one of those smelly Gyshal pickles that you can only eat if you open every window in your dorm room.

Irvy…what you don't know won't hurt you. Better yet, what _no one _knows won't hurt Esthar. Or Garden.

Or me.

I just hope that Rinny doesn't barge in before I get one more chance to snuggle with him. Tee-hee!

* * *

Haha! This is more of an experimental one-shot than anything else. I love the idea of Selphie/Laguna, almost as much as I'm intrigued by Quistis/Caraway. *shrug* Who knows? Maybe I just like older men, and this is all just running commentary on my real life preferences.

I'm debating whether or not I should extend it into a chapter project, but for now I'm calling it done... That is, unless someone reviews and subsequently insists that I continue!


	2. Laguna

Of Pickles and Presidents

by: _fluffy pantoufle_

A/N: Hi, all! Here's the second installment of my experimental Selphie/Laguna story, this time told from the perspective of our favorite Estharian president the night before the previous chapter. It's short, sweet, and hopefully makes sense! Read, enjoy, and feel free to leave a review! I love 'em!

* * *

I don't think that I was designed to grow old. The more I think about it, I don't think I was intended to lead a nation, either. Certainly, something must have happened somewhere in the time-space continuum, some improbable cosmic forces must have collided… Each day makes less and less sense to me.

You're probably laughing at me right now. I would be laughing at me, too; here I am, Laguna Loire, unhappy with my lot in life. For shame! Seriously, though - you would question the life you led too, had you been watching a snow angel dance before your very eyes. The short hair gave her away, but if I hadn't caught it I would have immediately thought that Hyne sent me a midwinter's miracle. A woman with the beguiling allure of Julia, the delicate, practical beauty of Raine…

"Sir Laguna? Aren't you cold out here without a coat?"

…and of course, the observant skills that only accompany a top-notch SeeD. I mean, I probably could have asked her the same question, but then I saw the flip in her hair and the glimmer in her green eyes and seized up. This woman was incomparable to my lost loves. This was Selphie Tilmitt - charming little Selphie, not yet twenty years of age. And here _I _was, intruding upon what I assumed she thought was a private moment. I fit the description of "creepy old man" down to the letter as I clutched awkwardly to my wine glass. A little voice in the back of my head reminded me of my long-suppressed _lovely girl _phobia…

Trust me, I could be _Hyne himself _and still get choked up in the presence of a woman. Not a split second later did I feel that damned familiar cramp in my leg; I tried to convince myself that it was due to the weather.

No, of course not! Only geezers had weather induced leg cramps. I was old_er, _and perhaps a bit creepy, but definitely not ancient.

Selphie tilted her head to the side and fixated her eyes on my own, and I couldn't help but squirm a bit under the sudden rush of anxiety. She'd be one hell of a world leader - deceivingly intimidating and just too darn cute to refuse. "Sir Laguna, are you having…a _Julia _moment?"

It took me a second to realize that Selphie knew - she had been there, in one form or another, thanks to Ellone. My insides lurched at the thought, but at the same time I felt my leg cramp go away. She _knew _exactly what happened and felt my butterflies, more or less, and yet it didn't seem to affect her opinion of me. All of a sudden it didn't make much sense for me to fall to shambles…

"You could say that," I whispered, sheepishly scratching the back of my head.

Her giggle pierced the night air like the ringing of a tiny bell. I wondered how a lovely girl like Selphie ever got involved in such a militaristic lifestyle, as if the carefree sound of her laughter contradicted everything that she ever accomplished. A strong soldier lurked beneath the surface, but something in my gut didn't want to admit that. It just didn't seem natural.

I could see Selphie living in Balamb Town along the water's edge, thriving on a lifestyle that involved sunshine, salty sea breezes and little else. I could see her spending her days in Winhill, watching out for the children and strolling through the lush countryside…

I could see her living in Esthar, loving an awkward, middle-aged president that didn't think he would find anyone on the planet worth loving ever again. Though ridiculous, a small part of me wondered whether or not such a thing could even happen, and whether or not I was so fortunate a man to deserve a wonderful woman in my life again.

Look at the mess I made of my past relationships. There was no way in hell that I'd ever get lucky like that a third time. Besides, Selphie and that _cowboy_…

Selphie's eyes trailed down from my face to the wine glass in my hand and raised an eyebrow. "Looks like you need a refill," she chirped with a grin. My breath caught in my throat as I thought of a response, but then it hit me like an airship smack between the eyes.

No wonder she was out here in the snow, twirling around like some sort of beautiful loon! I hadn't been the only one at this party that was consuming more than the socially acceptable amount of that Galbadian wine. It was just so _tasty - _

"You've gotta try the chardonnay!" she exclaimed, grasping my free hand between both of hers. "I love it almost as much as I love trains - and that's a _lot." _

I laughed. What else was there to do in this situation? This had bad decision written all over it, but I was suddenly enlightened by that one night in Deling City; I could hear Kiros and Ward encouraging me, regardless of whether the choice was good or bad. But really, what harm could there be in one more glass of wine with a friend?

"Sure," I responded with a small smile, letting her drag me back towards the party. "I'd love to have a drink with one of Balamb's finest SeeDs."

…oh, this had the potential to be such an egregious, wonderful error.


End file.
